Ok, so for a long time I felt like the only guy in the Bay area that never dated an Asian girl and I was always jealous over the white guys that had cute Asian women on their arms. This past weekend that changed for me. I recently broke off with a white girl friend, so I put up an ad on cl and got a few replies. One was from a cute Asian girl. So, I thought, this could be fun! My chance, finally. So we agree to meet at local bar after a bunch of drawn out emails (not my choice or style but hers). We're sitting there and she starts to ask me questions which I was very much struggling with due to her very broken English but I was trying hard and patient. She asked me what I like to do for fun. I suppose I could have been a smartass and said something like, 'I like to tie up women in my dungeon with duct tape and rope', but she wouldn't have laughed. So I gave her the standard answers. Then I boringly asked her, 'so what do you like to do for fun?' Her reply, "I LIKE TO BITE". Wait did I hear that correctly? I said, 'what do you like to do?' She's smiles coyly and says, " I Bite, I love to Bite." So, now i'm thinking WOW! I have a live one on my hands here, YAY!!!! So I'm like, WOW, YOU LIKE TO BITE, WELL ME TOO! AND I LIKE TO BE BITTEN TOO! She didn't really reply much to that. I was like really excited at this point thinking, wow these Asian girls are freaky! She mentioned not enjoying Biting until she got out here to California. Biting was new to her. I was getting really excited about the prospects here. Then I'm like, 'so what's your favorite places to BITE?' She's like, I like to BITE around the park, in mountain view, here and there. I BITE all around. DOH!
She was talking the whole time about biking. She loves to bike. Can you believe my luck? An Asian girl that says bite for bike.
This is like a letter to Penthouse, gone badly off-track.
Strictly business,,,, maybe more!!!!! Ok, here is the deal. Age: 23 Location: Houston, TX
I caught my girlfriend cheating on me over a 2 months ago, I have gone out a few times on a few dates but I haven't found a girl that can fulfill my wild side. I am looking for someone that is a little more open and daring!!! Someone exciting!
So, to truly weed out the women that don't have what I am looking for.
I am making this offer.
I have a brand new coach purse, see pics below, for trade. Or maybe this would be considered a Barter! LOL
anyway, Like I said, it has been 2 months, and I need a blow job!!!
so if your not scared, and you like to be a little bit naughty. Here is your chance!!
Who knows? Maybe we will hit it off!!!!!
Hello, Vice Unit?
This gives new meaning to young, dumb, and full of cum.
Low tolerance for high maintenance... Age: 50 Location: Florida
About my life and what I'm looking for:
I can love passionately, and at times, fiercely. I possess a keen wit and wield it often. I am often mistaken for Albert Einstein. I enjoy providing unsolicited opinions. I have a 3.5 USTA rating. I am lean, muscular and in excellent physical shape. I love beaches. I love suns of beaches. I wish I could cure cancer and other diseases. I do not own an iPod. I am a federale. I am social. I can move objects with my mind. I can be immature, for my own amusement and others. I am often mistaken for George Clooney. I can behave as an adult when cornered. I have recently been carded for beer. I am not gay. Scarlett Johanssen and I will NOT be getting back together. I can drive a car with my knee. I dig sushi and chicks that dig sushi. I prefer a Pinot Noir or a nice, red, table wine. Kids love me. I have not joined the AARP. I believe my left boob is larger than my right. I still believe in Santa. Resistance is Futile.
Key tip-offs to identifying older douchebags: Have issues with being their own age. Believe they look 10-20-30 years younger than their real age. They think they're funnier than they actually are. They think OTHER PEOPLE are high maintenance.
Any other dead giveaways? You tell me.
p.s. Relationship is still fine and going strong. Just have a lull at work and time to pick this back up.
These are REAL personal ads from some of America's most eligible online bachelors, culled from a variety of different online personals sites. It is our mission to bring you these very special men--in their own unvarnished words.
Ladies, how can you possibly resist them?
This is NOT a parody site. In our opinion, the genuineness of these ads is what makes them funny. We don't write these ads, we simple reprint them.
This blog was created by a SWF currently residing in the 7th circle of online dating hell. It is maintained by Liz and Michelle. This site is dedicated to all those
single women out there who are willing to go to great lengths to meet Mr. Right.
Rock on, our sisters, rock on.
Someday your prince will come.
But until he does, you may have to scroll through a few thousand pages of frogs.
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Cinnamon | March 22, 2009 10:09 AM
Tori | September 17, 2008 10:13 AM
4badgirlzonly | October 12, 2009 11:01 AM
